Moms Working

Asking for a Raise

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Despite leaps and bounds in the social status of women, there is still a gap in salary between genders. However, some of that gap is often due to women simply not asking for what they’re owed; after all, even if an employee is worth more, most employers won’t willingly pony up the cash unless asked directly.

Asking for a raise not only has an effect on your current financial situation, but also your future: the more money you make now the more any future employer will be willing to give you. A higher salary also often gets you a higher bonus, higher company retirement contributions, and so-on.

So how do you get more?

Do your research. Employees are commodities that earn companies and businesses income. Figuring out how much you’re making your company, and then determining what percentage of that amount you’re entitled to, is the best starting point when asking for a raise. From this juncture, determine what the average in your job market is, both inside and outside of the company, and use this number as a guideline for how much more you stand to earn.

Know what to ask for. Oftentimes, a company may have a max salary for a position, and you may be at it. If you still feel you are worth more, look into your company’s policy regarding other compensation. You may be able to negotiate a bonus, stock options, or other benefits in lieu of an increase in pay.

Speak up. Once you have all of your ducks in a row, set up a meeting with your direct supervisor and ask for the raise, laying out all of the reasons that you are worth the amount you’re asking for. Keep your cool, remain professional, and listen closely to what your employer says.

Remember: it never hurts to ask.

There’s No Room for Guilt

The following statement is the definition of mommy-guilt: “When I’m working, I feel like I should be spending time with my kids. Yet when I’m with my kids, I feel like I should be working!”

No matter what reason you work, because you have to or because you want to, the fact that women still submit themselves to this self-imposed guilt would be funny if it wasn’t so maddening. After all, can you think of any man who would feel that way?

While there are benefits to staying home (and I’m certainly not knocking the moms who choose or want to do so), there are a million benefits to working as well, whether from home, part time, or full time.

You’re financially supporting your family.
You are providing yourself with an outlet outside of your family.
It is easier to maintain an identity outside of your children (however, it is important to note that a stay-at-home-mom can do so as well).
By following your dreams, working hard, and supporting your family, you are setting an example for your children that will not be forgotten.

The next time you start to fall into the mom-guilt trap, think about it like this: while you are working, you are providing your children with the best life possible while they are enjoying time with friends and learning at daycare or school. When you are at home, you are spending quality time with those children, thoroughly enjoying them and relaxing with your family, leaving you refreshed and ready to be productive in the office later.

There is no room for guilt, and there is nothing to feel guilty about. So please, enjoy your work, cherish the time with your family, and stop trying to do everything: it ain’t a contest!

Getting Him to Pick up the Slack

So you got married, had kids and, due to either necessity or personal preference, decided to continue on in your career choice. However, for some reason, you still end up handling just about all of the house work, child care, and other domestic tasks that, honestly, should be split between the two of you if all was fair in the world. Assuming you did not marry a completely incompetent moron, there is a way to get your husband or significant other to handle their portion of the household tasks. At least I think so.

First of all, you aren’t alone. Out of a survey covering 17,000 people over 27 countries, it is estimated that men do about 9 hours of housework a week, while women do over 21. As more and more women are working, this seems a little bit ... uneven, to say the least.

If you’ve found yourself in this position, and it’s not working for you, there is a solution: ask. I know. You aren’t his mother. You shouldn’t have to ask. It’s demeaning to him to be treated like a child and seriously unsexy to have to ask a grown man to fold his own freaking clothes. But just hear me out.

After nearly 7 years of marriage to a pretty decent guy, I have found that he honestly does not see the fact that the bathroom is getting dirty, the floors need swept, or the hamper is over flowing. And I’m pretty sure this applies to a lot of other semi-decent guys. Why can’t they see it? I have no clue. I also don’t know why, exactly, the sky is blue, but I know it is.

How did I come to this realization? I finally listened to what he was telling me. After years of nagging, yelling or otherwise being bitter about his lack of housework, I finally believed him when he said that he didn’t notice it needed done, and just started asking for each task to be done when I noticed it. So far, the asking is working, so why not give it a try? In theory, there’s nothing to lose besides a little less work on your plate.

Hey Mom! You Don’t Need an Excuse

I don’t even know why we think we do in the first place.

Maybe it’s because, while growing up, it was always, “Why?” “Why did you forget your homework? Why didn’t you remember to take the dog for a walk or play with your sister or mind your matters?” I think that if we had known Louis CK when we were kids, we would have felt much better, instead of muttering an ashamed, “I dunno.”

It seems that this guilt has carried into adulthood for many of us. For one thing, many of us apologize for things that we don’t need to apologize for. From bumping into the furniture to actions someone else did to someone we care about, we tend to say, “I’m sorry” about four times as much as we need to. (That’s obviously a guesstimate; it could be higher.)

Something else we do, however, is fret over making our excuses. We worry about everything already, so worrying about what’s going to happen to Y if we do X and Z isn’t helping. When my daughter was ill earlier this week, we had to miss a couple of activities—then, yesterday, we missed a party due to complicated work schedules and a misinterpretation about dates. When I made my excuses, I felt so bad that I needed to apologize over and over again, as well as explain why.

But you know what? You don’t need to make excuses! Whether you are changing plans or simply turning down a favor, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. And I do not mean to be mean about this; you seriously would be better off not making the excuses for two reasons:

It saves you time. You don’t have time to type out two paragraphs about why you won’t make story time if you are cleaning puke off your clothes or switching cool washcloths on your kid’s forehead. People have empathy and, above all else, they have lives, too—so they get it. They know life is messy and complicated and things come up. No biggie, in most circumstances.
It saves THEM time. Nobody wants to read two paragraphs about your child’s mucus coloration in the first place! “Sammy is sick” will suffice. And even that isn’t necessary in many circumstances; a simple, “We won’t be able to attend; see you next time!” is probably all you need.

Between the media, nutrition, and all of the complex choices we have to make every day about keeping our families fit and healthy, we already have enough guilt to go around. We don’t need to make even more for ourselves. So how about we all stop with our excuses and simply live our lives?

Oh How Things Have Changed

Things have really changed when it comes to the perception of women – especially moms. This is because back in some of the prior day’s women who had children – all women really – were expected to stay at home and tend to the house and children while the men went to work. Men were viewed as the providers while the women were the ones who had their own duties to complete that did not involve working.

Now in this day in time it is hard to find a mom that does not work. Even the moms who stay at home still work. They take on computer jobs while still keeping the house clean, the children taken care of, and their husbands happy. Then, there are the single moms. They go out and work in the real job world and send their children to daycare yet still manage to make sure that they spend time with them.

I thought it would be really interesting for us to just sit back and analyze the situation. Is this something that is good or bad? For all of you moms out there are you happy working or would you prefer to just sit and home and have your husbands’ bring in the money? Personally, I can say that I have been on both sides of the tracks. With my personality just sitting at home and not working gets boring after a while. I can really say that I enjoy working from home. Not only do I get to spend time with my children but I also never have to ask anyone for anything since I am earning my own money.

Reasons Why Moms Work From Home

Every mom has their own particular reason as to why they work from home. However, most of the reasons behind working from home are pretty obvious. Below you can find some of the more popular reasons behind moms working from home.

· Saving More Money: When a mom decides to work from home it can be because they are looking to save money. Working from home allows moms to cut back on commuting back and forth to work – gas wise. Also, it allows them to cut back on daycare costs because their children can stay at home with them and they do not have to pay the daycares outrageous fees.

· To spend more time with the children: Most mothers have a dream of spending more time with their children. However, many are not able to do this due to the fact that they have to work long hours and their commutes are long as well. Not to mention the fact that by the time they are able to make it home they are exhausted so nearly spend an hour with them. Work at home moms are able to stay at home with their children 24/7 and spend time with them as much as they want.

· Make more money: Many moms work from home because they have really found a rewarding career that allows them to produce a decent, steady amount income with little effort. However, this may not be the easiest job in the world but when compared to a “real” job it is said to be very rewarding.

Myth: Working From Home Is Not A Real Job

"Work at home moms work just as hard as anyone else if not harder."

I’m sure any of us work from home moms always have someone in our eyes nagging that working from home is not a real job or our jobs are super easy when in fact they are not. Working from home requires a lot of patience and talent. If it was so easy to do why doesn’t everyone do it?

I know personally I am quite sick of people always saying, “Oh! You don’t do anything. All you do is sit at home all day”. Well, if we work at home moms didn’t do anything all day I guess people just give us money for free correct? We just imagine dealing with rude clients and we just sit in front of the computers all day for hours on end until we obtain eye aches and headaches just for fun right?

Wrong! Work at home moms work just as hard as anyone else if not harder. We have to manage keeping the house clean, taking care of children and working. That is a lot. Then if we are in a relationship we sometimes have to deal with an unsupportive partner who is always saying, “What did you do today?” or “Why didn’t you do this?” maybe even “Can you do this?” It’s like hello we are working. Just because we work from home it does not mean we do not work. If we were at an office somewhere working you would not be able to ask us to do things so why do it because we work from home?